Avoiding Power Struggles

When you’re teaching students with emotional and behavioral issues, you’ll find that it’s very easy to end up in a power struggle.  You’re the authority figure–you’ll win.  But it won’t be pretty.

Once the power struggle starts, if you continue to butt heads, the simplest incident can escalate quickly.  I’ve asked students to put their name on their paper, and had it escalate to administration needing to come and remove the student from them room!

The best policy on power struggles is this: don’t start.  And if it does start, get out of it right away.

Here are some tips:

• Give choices.  This gives the student a feeling of control.  The choices can be between multiple ways to do the non-preferred task (“You can sit by me and do your worksheet, and you can sit by the window and do your worksheet”) or they can be between the task and a consequence (“You can do your worksheet or you can do to the responsibility room”).  Always list the more desirable choice first.
• Be willing to negotiate.  If the student says something they want to do, work with it.  Say, “All right.  You want to use the iPad.  You may do that after you finish your worksheet.” 
• Talk to the student privately.  Removing the audience allows them to save face.  I talk to students in the hall, then allow them to come back into the room when they are ready (with limits, of course–usually they have up to 10 minutes).  This gives them a sense of control.
• Decide what is important and what isn’t.  Nitpicking every behavior will create a negative atmosphere.  Maybe it really doesn’t matter if the student insists on not putting their last name on the worksheet.
• Find out what makes the student tick.  Does he do better in small group lessons?  Does he prefer discussions or independent work?  Use the student’s “happy place” as a starting point, then begin to work in the non-preferred methods of learning.
• Have a consequence for lesser offenses.  Maybe the student gets lunch detention with you.  Maybe she does not earn her store dollars/points for the day.  Having a quick consequence allows you to address the behavior and move on.
• Work on developing a good rapport with the student, when things are going well.
• Teach the student appropriate behaviors.  For example, if they don’t like a class activity, they should talk to you privately about it, and voice their concerns, rather than refusing to do it.  If a student does this, I, of course, end up explaining why we’re doing to activity.  But I always try to give the student something–maybe they don’t have to do the last problem, maybe we’ll do a math game next, maybe they can work in pairs tomorrow, etc.  In the workplace, if we have concerns about what we’re supposed to do, we do it anyway, but we may discuss it with our boss.  So this is an important skill.

With a little bit of effort, you can eliminate power struggles in your classroom, and have a much more enjoyable time teaching!

Curbing Drama

Teenagers–especially girls–experience a great deal of drama.  On numerous occasions, I have found myself dealing with friendship and relationship spats, name-calling, and attention-seeking behavior in class. 

There are some methods I have discovered, for reducing these behaviors.  Punishment has NOT been overly effective, in my experience.  Instead, I focus on helping the students to gain attention in a positive manner.

Here are some tips:

—Let them know you’re there–with limits.  I give the student a spiral-bound notebook, which he or she may use as a journal.  If the student wants, I will read the journal at lunch time, and write a response.  Then, during class, if the student wants to discuss drama, or engage in attention-seeking behavior, I remind them to write it in the journal, so I can give it my full attention at lunch.  Everytime I have done this, the student has been so relieved to know that they can be heard, that the they did not find it necessary to give me the journal very often. 

—Give them some special, positive attention.  Find time to talk to the student, about everyday matters.  One student was seeing the school counselor multiple times a day, until I started walking with her to the lunch room.  Another student enjoyed touching base with me, when she first arrived in class.

—Find ways to allow them to help others.  Pair the student up with someone who is struggling.  Give them a classroom “job” or some other responsibility.  This will increase their self-esteem and give them some attention, in a positive light.

With a little effort and a little extra time, it is possible to nearly eliminate drama in your classroom.